In the past, I have never been someone who makes new years resolutions. Before this year I just claimed that it was kind of stupid and laughed every time I saw a store advertising workout gear or workout programs. This was probably because I thought that I could never be capable of sticking to something for a couple days let alone a whole year. My 2017 was full of challenges. I was diagnosed with panic disorder and struggled constantly with getting that under control, I lost a family member, and my grades in college plummeted which made me feel hopeless. In the days leading up to the new year, however, my mindset completely changed. I decided that I refuse to live with the constant fear. I refuse to let these struggles define me and make me feel insignificant. I am confident that while I might have some off days in 2018, I can turn this around for myself and fill my days with happiness and accomplishments. I refuse to live another day the way that I lived all of 2017. With that, here are my 2018 New Years Resolutions.
1.Love myself even on the bad days: I know that everything that I wrote in the previous paragraph might sound idealistic, but I’m not naive enough to think that every day is going to be positive. I know that I will have some days where I just can’t get out of bed and go to class.. and that is okay. I am going to stop beating myself up for things that I just can’t control. On those bad days, I am going to let myself do whatever my body is telling me to do whether it is binge watch Netflix all day in bed or go get a venti caramel macchiato at Starbucks along with a cupcake. I am going to do the best that I can with the circumstances that I am given but still never surrender to the anxiety. I am in control of those bad days now.
2. Work out at least three times a week: This one sounds like the typical New Years resolution, but it is very necessary. I used to be very active and healthy, but as soon as I started to feel like shit every single day I just stopped it all. It seemed very rational at the time, but I was making the anxiety and panic way worse by doing so. So many people would tell me that working out could be just as effective for treating anxiety as medication and I would roll my eyes… now I realize how true that really is. Whenever I work out I always feel so much happier, healthier, and confident which really sets the pace for the rest of my day. I have been working out and eating healthier in the past week and I can already feel such a difference in my body and my mind. This year I am going to regain the strength that I lost both mentally and physically.
3. Start a blog: This is one that I can already check off the list (obviously). Like I said on my about page, I have wanted to do this for a while and now I am so excited to finally be doing it. I have no idea how it is going to play out for me but for now, I can already see how much I am enjoying it and that is all that matters. I am excited to see how much my blog can grow within a year and I along with it. I am also planning on starting an Instagram to go along with this site, so stay tuned for that!
4. Focus on Academics: So far in college, I have had so much holding me back that prevented me from showing what I can really do. My grades heavily reflected my struggles with mental health which created such a vicious cycle of anxiety and bad grades. It sucks that I am going through this at such a critical point in my adult life but it is what it is and I have to move on and do my best from there. Now that I am feeling so much better in terms of mental health, I am excited to focus on academics and get my grades up to my potential. I know that it won’t be easy and I will have to work harder than I have ever before but like I said, I refuse to let my challenges hold me back any longer.
So there you have it, four constant goals that I have for 2018 which will also carry into years after. I am feeling so positive and optimistic about this year and I can’t wait to see my growth. To go along with that, I am also starting a bullet journal to stay organized and track my progress throughout the year. I will probably be posting about that soon once I have it all complete.
With that, thank you so much for reading and I hope I was able to inspire you in some way. If you are dealing with a mental illness like me please just know that you are certainly not alone. You are in control even if you don’t feel like it and it is never too late to take back your life.